Why everything tast like chicken..

Ok so its old news… Scientists have proven the theory that chickens are in fact the descendent’s of dinosaurs.

They fiddled around with the DNA and sure enough the made baby chicken embryos that grew cute little teeth, and promised (ok sure guys..) that they didn’t let any grow to full term. Maybe thats officially changed, I don’t know.

NOR DO I CARE! Fuck the ethical issues and the fighting from the stem cell peoples and the peoples that don’t believe in evolution for some strange reason……

The real discovery here, is we finally know what dinosaurs taste like.

One argument officially put to rest! Also giving us good scientific theory of exactly why most things also taste like chicken, it was chicken in the distant past. The world is waiting for KFC to get on this and start frying up giant 8 piece buckets of crispy (or spicey if you so choose) T-Rex.

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Horny 16 and why I tolerate the fine arts. (^o_._o^) a post about Cats.

Furries..

Furries..

I had no interest, no real knowledge about it, in fact if a character feels the need to burst into song to get a point across Im quickly over it. Even most disney films ride the hell outta that nerve. But dont mistake me for some narrow minded dude with no appreciation for the fine arts. I watch my fair share of movies that lack the traditional plot, and themes. Often they are like windows into life, or some drawn out statement, and you never know how its going to end, the subtle suspense…

SOOOOO when my friend pulls this VHS out, and says “YOU WANNA WATCH CATS!” we were bored, well I wasn’t that bored.. and like so many similar situations we found ourselves watching this thing.. Its worth noting we were sober as all those poor people that are supposed to be starving in africa BTW. AND I figured why the hell not, might as well see what the huge deal is about….. 60min latter..

Famous-characters-Troll-face-Troll-face-lol-34826

No real expectations… but tend to expect..

  1. Characters to be introduced…Check.
  2. Something to happen, some plot something to happen to move the story in A direction, any direction is fine with me.~wtf?

Massive magical furrie choreography (as expected) singing (check) Introduction of characters.. and more characters, and more, and hour latter Im waiting for some plot something beside yet another introduction… more singing oh look heres so in so they sing, more furrie fun frolicking, followed by “Im SoAndSo!” (I think to myself ok then this so and so guy will take the plot…) Oh wait more singing yet another cat shows up… this continues for an hour then they all go home.

Watching it without expectation. It sucked. Was I supposed to dazzled like some vacant eyed moron, like some child staring blankly at something shiny on a television screen?   Was I supposed to somehow identify with the endless queue of cats who much to my annoyance felt the need to burst into song about their various personality types/disorders. And the moral the point of the whole story was.. Cats have different personalities…

The only real reason we kept watching it I suspect was the hot close enough to naked dancer furrie chicks.

Id fap to that. we were horny and 16..... shud up >_<

Id fap to that. we were horny and 16….. shud up >_<

Posted in Comedy, Mike Rants, music, Pets, Things my girlfirend seems to have a problem with, This is why you suck | 1 Comment

OoMpa LooMpas, too smug to let live, too short to stone to death and not feel like a horrable person.

So heres a thought. OomPaLoompas.. Remember those little green haired orange bastards from Charlie and the chocolate factory? Iv Decided I dont like them.

“if your not greedy you will go far and live in happiness like the oompa doompa doompidy doo!” (This sales pitch sounds familiar)

Whaaa? Midgets are the source of awesome right.. I shall explain..

They are a tight little group of people that all where the same funny uniforms and give unsolicited advice to people, while being self righteous about it. *the oompa loompa’s give me yet another disapproving look* When I stop and think about it they kinda remind me of someone else we all hate.

Have you heard the good news?

Its becoming painfully obvious to me that I was tricked by the weirdness that is choreographed midget dancing that I totally missed the condescension or just didn’t care. If the Jesus freaks showed up at my door step in funny (well, funnier) looking outfits and started choreographed dance singing I wonder if it would have the same effect? Maybe they should start recruiting little people for the task of “saving” us all. I wouldn’t feel bad chucking  bricks at these guys but would feel awful if I took down one of those smug little oompa loompas. Maybe its a primal thing, little people remind us of children or sumthing? These are the things that make me stop and rethink my past decisions.

Posted in Comedy, Mike Rants | Tagged | Leave a comment

Why everything tast like chicken..

Ok so its old news… Scientists have proven the theory that chickens are in fact the descendent’s of dinosaurs. They fiddled around with the DNA and sure enough the made baby chicken embryos that grew cute little teeth, and promised (ok sure guys..) that they didn’t let any grow to full term. Maybe thats officially changed, I don’t know. NOR DO I CARE! Fuck the ethical issues and the fighting from the stem cell peoples and the peoples that don’t believe in evolution for some strange reason…… The real discovery here, is we finally know what dinosaurs taste like. One argument officially put to rest! Also giving us good scientific theory of exactly why most things also taste like chicken, it was chicken in the distant past. The world is waiting for KFC to get on this and start frying up giant 8 piece buckets of crispy (or spicey if you so choose) T-Rex.

Posted in Comedy, We live in the future | Leave a comment

Madoff is awsome Because the greedy bastards deserved it.

This is Bernard Madoff

He didn’t hold a gun to anyones head and say give me all your money, He didn’t kill anyone cause bodily harm to anyone (and if you kill yourself over money sounds like a personal issue) Seriously guys, everyone is like bad bad man… Think about it he didn’t do anything that doesn’t happen LEGALLY everyday. How many people really loose 30lbs in 30 days eh? Now what he did do is tell a bunch of lazy greedy people, hey I can take your money and turn it into more without you having to do a thing. So they made a investment and that investment failed…. and people that thought they were gonna make money without doing anything now have no money boo hoo… Stick another clip of some poor victim crying on about how they lost everything and its not there fault taking a risk with money they shouldn’t of risked, no its that bad man, that very bad, genius of a con artist that took 50mill dollars from people who thought they could make a bunch of money without working for it… (>_<) Thats what you get you silly stupid greedy lazy people. Why is there this national man hunt/ witch burning, and why do I feel like I’m the only one left in this country with any personal accountability? And why are we locking him up for 150yrs, he stole some money, You fucking Hippocrates …

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Ways to cheeryourself up #4 -take things out of context.

These dudes are doctors in the 1965 movie Akahige by Akiria Kurosawa. What did you think was going on pervert?

Actually this movie is the shit… an epic 3hrs of some of the most awsome acting screen writing kungfu and cinimatography Iv seen in along time. Red Beard is the shit…..

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Nick Jr Sucks #2

Ok so we all need to admit there is a constant battle for control of kids minds. The religious nuts want them conditioned to know god early so latter in life they become christian, All the shows I watched as a kid was run by hippys, see david the gnome, or fraggle rock, or any episode of peewees play house with cool cat it it.

 

Kids programing is basically brainwashing your kids squishy little brain into the adult later in life that is someones ideal… Look at it in this light okay…

 

This show has GODLIKE status in my eyes when its comes to being that perfect balance of fun and programing your little monster to not grow up to be a total asshole when they grow up. But one character has me starting to worry about the future generations.

Brobee provides us with the example that its allright to be a whiney little bitch. This is also signified by the fact that he is the only character in the show that has facial expressions, half the show he wanders around with this sad face and this whiney sorta lisp. Hes pathetic.. and tells your kid being a pathetic whiney little pussy is alright…

Do you think the Mongolians would have torn ass across china for century’s and be one of the most feared cultures if they let their kids dress like this? Or the vikings would have sailed across frigid oceans and rocked so hard? Im afraid the role models we are putting forth for our kids will generate even more mommas boy manchildren, emasculated metro sexual pussys, and romantic basement dweller losers. Welcome to the decline of western civilization…. men are a dieing species.

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